(Source: thunderstorms12)

Some dude: Hey baby, how do you like your eggs?
You: Balut.

I found a copy of the Twilight AU that became 50 Shades of Grey.

ryeisenberg:

ryeisenberg:

  • It’s called Master of the Universe.
  • It was originally published on Fanfiction.net (aka where fanfiction goes to die).
  • E.L. James’ pen name was Snowqueens Icedragon because of course it was.
  • Snowqueens Icedragon does not use quotation marks. 
  • She does, however, make up expressions like "my very small inner goddess sways in a gentle victorious samba" and “I can almost hear his sphinx-like smile through the phone.”
  • They spend more time filling out sex-related paperwork than they do actually having sex.
  • Because the human body doesn’t work like that
  • Because the english language doesn’t work like that.

The 50 Shades of Grey trailer just dropped, so here’s a link to the original Twilight fanfiction that the book is “based” off of, because if you’re gonna read the book before you see the movie you might as well read it in its original format. 

(Source: skressed)

just-marvel-things:

Didn’t think i could get anymore excited about this film

hellaoptile:

you know how when you go to a concert or show of some sort and the person on stage is like “HOW’S EVERYONE DOING TONIGHT?!?!?!?!” and the audience cheers back? why? you’re not answering the question, you’re just yelling. imagine if we did that in daily conversation. “hey jeff, how are ya?” and jeff just starts screaming and clapping in your face

(Source: ricktimus)

buckybarrnes:

image

you guys look like a shitty boy band that hasn’t practiced in 15 years

FEATURING the REALLY OLD GUY WITH RETRACTABLE CLAWS

the ANGSTY OLD MAN WITH A METAL ARM

the PATRIOTIC GRANDPA

and the AVERAGE-AGE BOW AND ARROW DUDE

lychgate:

the sounds of thousands of fangirls laptops racing to make fanfiction over that scene

lychgate:

 

raybucho:

milftanks:

rosethespiritalchemist:

 #dont do that vic

I DON’T KNOW IF YOU KNOW THIS, VIC, BUT YOU’RE GOING TO LOSE A LIMB IF YOU DO THAT

do it vic,

do it

don’t be a pussy vic

seek the truth, Vic

godotal:

omgbuglen:

How to use sand to freak people out

Imagine if some guy was tripping and saw the woman, runs up to help her and she just crumbles apart in his hands. That’s gonna take the trip south.

annafromcraigslist:

Cosmo tip inspired by 50 Shades #2: Stab him in the ass with a fork.

amon-a-horse:

sorry not sorry

hecallsmepineappleprincess:

windsofthecaspiansea:

dapperzack:

msdisneyprincess:

jacobyboyer:

msdisneyprincess:

carnationcafe:

msdisneyprincess:

tower-of-terror:

*breaks into Disneyland during the purge*

*and steals all the merch*

*save the small world children slaves*

*wear Ariel’s dress and skip around the park*

*swims in The Rivers Of America*

*climbs Sleeping Beauty Castle*

*eats all of the Mickey Premium Bars*

*slides down Splash Mountain*

*declares herself queen of Disneyland*

©

The Artist Apprentice

Hello There! My name is Paige, aspiring illustrator and part time dork. My current dream is to make concept art for movies, so we'll just have to see how that goes.

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